How to Safely Leave an Abusive Relationship - Terri Cole
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How to Safely Leave an Abusive Relationship

Do you feel trapped in your relationship? When you think about leaving, are you actually afraid of what your partner would do?

In this video, I’m going to teach you how to leave an abusive and/or controlling partner so you can get on with your amazing life. And I’m not just talking about physical abuse, I’m talking about emotional and verbal abuse as well. If you are afraid there will be retribution from your partner for ending it, for example, that they will embarrass you at work or call your boss, or tell your friends and family a secret about you, then you are most likely in an abusive relationship, and in this video, I will outline a safe way for you to get out.

In this Real Love Revolution video, I cover:

  • Different types of abusive relationships
  • What kind of plan(s) you should first make before taking any action
  • How to safely leave an abusive relationship in a step-by-step guide, including making a survival kit
  • Resources you can use to aid you in your exit

Part one of this video series is called “10 Signs You Are in an Abusive Relationship,” and you should check that out as well because when you’re in the thick of this kind of relationship, it becomes difficult for you to tell that you are being abused. Abusers can be very crafty at convincing you that the problem is you. And before we get into the steps of how to safely leave an abusive relationship, I want to be clear, that you must first make a safe exit plan. Don’t do anything yet. There are ways that you can get help with this. Don’t do anything impulsive, or anything that tips your hand to an abuser.

The first step must be admitting and acknowledging that there is abuse. Many of my clients who have gone through an abusive situation start off doubting their own experience. It seems that if you don’t have a black eye or a broken bone, it’s not abuse, but let me tell you – that isn’t true. Name calling, intimidation, yelling…those are all different faces of abuse. Abusers can be apologetic after the abuse occurs and an initial honeymoon period of reconnection can feel good. Then the tension builds again, and it leads to another explosion, that’s why it’s called a cycle of abuse. You could stay trapped in this cycle for the rest of your life, but please don’t. I don’t want you to. This is your one and only amazing life.

Not only can you survive this situation, but you can get out of it and thrive. I have helped clients leave abusive situations and their lives have blossomed. Just know that it truly is possible for you to live a second or third part of your life, regardless of how long you’ve been in this relationship. You have a right to be safe. You have a right to be happy. You have a right to be deeply, deeply loved.

Watch the video above for the rest of the steps on how to leave an abusive situation and see a list below of resources you can use to help you safely leave your abuser.  Don’t underestimate or minimize what is happening in your life. If you are walking on eggshells, if you are afraid of your partner, if you are afraid to leave, this tells you that you must leave. And there’s a safe way to do it.

 

Resources for Safely Leaving an Abusive Relationship:

*If you are in immediate danger, please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline listed below or call 911.

  • The National Domestic Violence Hotline
    • 1-800-799-7233
    • http://www.thehotline.org/
  • Women’s Law
    • http://www.womenslaw.org/index.php
  • National Network to End Domestic Violence
    • http://nnedv.org/
  • Center for Relationship Abuse Awareness
    • http://stoprelationshipabuse.org/
  • Office on Women’s Health, listing resources by state on violence against women:
    • https://www.womenshealth.gov/violence-against-women/get-help-for-violence/resources-by-state-violence-against-women.html
  • Domestic Shelters, discussing how to flee an abuser when you are with your children:
    • https://www.domesticshelters.org/domestic-violence-articles-information/fleeing-an-abuser-with-your-children#.WHa2l7YrLVo
  • The National Council of Juvenile and Family Court Judges, listing child custody saws by state:
    • http://www.ncjfcj.org/our-work/state-laws

Thanks for watching, reading and sharing.

And as always, take care of YOU.

Terri Cole
https://terricole.com
3 Comments
  • Nancy ross
    Posted at 02:17h, 19 January Reply

    As a volunteer DV group facilitator for the last 24 years this is a great video

    • Terri Cole
      Posted at 02:48h, 19 January Reply

      Thank you, Nancy! That means a lot coming from you. Thanks for watching!

  • Escape from Abuse - SwanWaters
    Posted at 08:40h, 31 March Reply

    […] How to Safely Leave an Abusive Relationship […]

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