Disease to Please - Terri Cole
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Disease to Please

Do you have the disease to please? To find out, ask yourself 4 questions:

  1. Do you say “yes” when you really want to say “no”?
  2. Do you apologize often not only when you’re not sorry but when you’re angry?
  3. Do you avoid confrontation at all costs?
  4. Do you put everyone else’s needs above your own?

If you answered yes to any of the above questions, you, my dear, have the “disease to please”.

To gain some clarity, take the next 48 hours, to write down every time you exercise any action on the list above. This will give you a clear snapshot of the way you’re functioning.

Remember, being nice, as in authentic acts of kindness are those things we do for others out of genuine concern and interest for their well being. For example, mowing an elderly neighbors yard or volunteering at a soup kitchen. Agreeing to something you do not want to do to avoid a confrontation or saying yes when you really want to say “no”, is not being nice it is being inauthentic and actually dishonest. How can anyone authentically love you if they don’t authentically know you?

And you definitely deserve to be loved authentically. <3

I would love to hear your thoughts, if this tip resonated with you and what the experiment produces.
Have a great week and as always, take care of you.

Love Love Love
Terri

terricoleny
8 Comments
  • sarah
    Posted at 10:49h, 20 September Reply

    <3. You know what else? When you start saying no to take care of your own needs you also start seeing the authentic sides of others =0 ! People who may have been used to you apologising when you're angry or saying yes when you feel no can get, uh, affronted by your new honesty & choice to not go along with their wishes or perspectives. Then you can see who likes/loves you for you, and who likes/loves you simply because you agree with them all the time. <3 u terri x

  • terri cole
    Posted at 18:31h, 20 September Reply

    So true sarah! When we change our relationship dance the other person will most likely try to get us to be the way we were by almost any means necessary. Some relationships will fade away but the good ones will thrive so it requires being brave and ok with the unknown…since really it’s all unknown 😉

    To thine own self be true mama and then you give the people who love u the chance to actually know who they think they are loving!

    was that too crazy involved?? LOL
    xo

  • Karen
    Posted at 22:42h, 01 February Reply

    Last week you mentioned “where/where have I felt this before.” if I figure this out what do I do with that info.

  • Lisa McGregor
    Posted at 23:16h, 01 February Reply

    I really like how you phrased, when you say yes, when you mean no, you [are not being nice] are being inauthentic.

  • aRV
    Posted at 04:58h, 15 February Reply

    what you said totally resonates with me , i have the disease to please and i am working towards overcoming it

    • Terri Cole
      Posted at 14:10h, 16 February Reply

      So glad it resonates and YES YES YES to overcoming the disease to please! Good Luck!

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    Posted at 06:05h, 20 April Reply

    […] When we grow up constantly seeking approval or positive reinforcement from a mother, or have been lacking that kind of feedback in our lives, as adults we can often have trouble drawing boundaries as we are constantly looking for approval from others. You can find out more about how to combat the ‘Disease to Please’ here. […]

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    […] When we grow up constantly seeking approval or positive reinforcement from a mother, or have been lacking that kind of feedback in our lives, as adults we can often have trouble drawing boundaries as we are constantly looking for approval from others. You can find out more about how to combat the ‘Disease to Please’ here. […]

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