Love Archives - terri cole
Simple Ways to Create More Self-Love

Simple Ways to Create More Self-Love

Create Self Love in Your Life Today! I am so excited to start the Real Love Revolution free video series this week exploring ways to create more love (self love and other love) in your life. Take a moment before watching to assess your feelings about yourself right now. How do you speak to yourself when you make a mistake? Do you feel worthy and lovable? How valuable do you think you are? This week is all about uncovering common behaviors that that can reinforce low self-esteem and block self-love, and in this video, I specifically cover: Flipping the script on negative self-talk Becoming aware of the Disease to Please Learning to brag in a healthy way Effective affirmations for building self-esteem The power of accepting a compliment Tackle the exercises in this video and leave me a comment here on the blog to let me know what surprised or challenged you. And head on over to my YouTube channel to subscribe so you’ll have direct access to the Real Love Revolution video series when they go live each week, and please share them on social media to spread the love. I am so lit up about leading you on this Real Love Revolution journey! Are YOU ready for a revolution? This video will be the first of many going forward that are designed to help anyone who is willing to uncover and transform any limiting or negative beliefs about self-love.  Loving yourself can be as simple as you want it to be. If you take the time to follow the simple steps that I have laid out in the...
Grief, Love & Loss

Grief, Love & Loss

“When it’s your time to go, you won’t wish you’d spent more time grieving. You’ll wish you’d spent more time living.” — Christina Rasmussen We have all experienced loss in one way or another in our lives. Like change, it is an inevitable fact of being human. Whether it’s a job, a loved one, a relationship, a dream or anything else — loss can be devastating. Suffering a significant loss of a loved one can leave you feeling empty. From that place of emptiness it’s easy to spiral downward into feelings of unshakable sadness and hopelessness. Loss isn’t something you can prepare for because the actual experience is almost always more difficult and heartbreaking than one could ever imagine. Unprocessed loss can take you hostage. This topic of spousal loss is close to my heart because I married a widower eighteen years ago. My husband, Vic, lost his young wife Donna due to cancer when she was just twenty nine. They had three young sons ages five, three and nine months old. When Vic and I fell in love, twelve years later, I was acutely sensitive to the fact that my joy (finding my family and the love of my life) was made possible because of unspeakable pain and loss. Vic describes years of feeling overwhelmed and at times hopeless. Feelings of hopelessness can be a normal part of the process of grief and yet we all know that zillions of people since the beginning of time have risen above the ashes to reclaim a sense of hope, light and even joy. It may feel impossible while you’re going through...
Does the perfect life lead to self love?

Does the perfect life lead to self love?

I know you’re a loving person. I have no doubt that you treat your family and friends with kindness and consideration (OK let’s say most of the time). Do you extend your vast capacity to be loving to YOU? Or are you much more judgmental and much less loving towards yourself then you are to others? This is a common experience for many of my over achieving, perfectionist driven clients and is important because a lack of self love can block you from creating the healthy, happy life you deserve. To dive deeper on this I rang up my pal Gala Darling. She is an author, coach and self-love guru and has an eye-opening perspective on the topic. Darling says: “You don’t need to have a “perfect life” to love the way you exist in the world. You don’t need a “perfect body” to appreciate how you look (and have fun with it). You don’t need to BE PERFECT to enjoy your life and live it to the hilt. This [self-love] is not about trying to become an immaculate person. It is about looking at your messiness and realising that you have an inherent beauty regardless. Radical self love is about seeing yourself as you truly are — with no delusions — and choosing to believe that you are pretty goddamn great.” Your flaws are what make you beautiful. #BeYou @GalaDarling via @TerriCole {CLICK TO TWEET} What Gala and I both believe is that there are simple yet highly effective ways for you to amp up your self love — no makeup, man or magical diet required. 1. Self...
Relationships, Marriage & Sweating the Small Stuff

Relationships, Marriage & Sweating the Small Stuff

“You can measure the happiness of a marriage by the number of scars that each partner carries on their tongues, earned from years of biting back angry words.”― Elizabeth Gilbert, Committed: A Skeptic Makes Peace with Marriage Do you remember the first few months of your relationship? Whether you are in a marriage, dating or divorced, you’ve experienced the “honeymoon stage” at the beginning of a romantic relationship. This is a time when everything your partner does seems to thrill you. Things are perfect, and there isn’t a thing you would change about each other. You love spending time together and all you can think about is the other person. Every touch and kiss feels magical. While in this magical phase with my husband, Victor, I went on an already planned two week trip to Tuscany with pals. During the longest two weeks of my life, I wrote Vic a forty-page letter specifically listing all of the things I loved about him. (You know you are in love if you would rather be in Elizabeth, NJ than the countryside of Italy!) At that moment in time, he was perfect. Then like in most relationships, real life set in and things changed. Which is not bad, just what happens. Vic and I and the boys got into therapy to help us negotiate our newly formed family and help heal some of the existing wounds. Conflict can be an opportunity to communicate on a higher level or not. As time goes on, you may still love many of the qualities that drew you to your partner, but suddenly there are things...
Love Him, Hate Her: Love Hate Relationships

Love Him, Hate Her: Love Hate Relationships

Who do you love without restraint or hesitation? Bring that person to mind right now. How do you feel? I love my husband, Vic, my kids, my mom, my sisters, nieces/nephews and my closest girlfriends this way. I feel filled with joy when I think of how lucky I am to love and be loved by these extraordinary people. For you, whether it’s a sibling, spouse, nephew, cousin, coworker or even a furry friend, simply thinking about them changes your energy and makes your heart smile, right? Feeling that vibration of love releases oxytocin, dopamine and serotonin in your brain. It also uplifts those around you. The same is true for actively holding hate for people, except the impact is negative. As this saying by an unknown wise soul goes, “Hating someone makes them important. Forgiving them makes them obsolete” ~Unknown via @Terri_Cole {CLICK TO TWEET} When you hold hate in your heart for someone you are giving them your time and attention. You are elevating their status and gifting them prime real estate in your mind. From a therapeutic standpoint, you also, most likely have unfinished business with them. When an emotional injury or painful situation is not processed properly or honored appropriately, it continues to draw energy from you. People come in and out of our lives for different purposes and periods of time. Everyone can be a teacher if you are willing to learn. Some lessons are more painful than others but all have the power to add to your evolution. By processing a painful loss or betrayal you are mining that experience for the gold...
Creating Love that Lasts

Creating Love that Lasts

Do you believe you are worthy of your own time? Love? Money? Do you dress up for no other reason than because it makes you feel good? Do you treat yourself with the love, care and respect that you do with other people in your life? Whether you are in a relationship or looking for love, most of you know, somewhere down deep, that self love is the path to true love. You know the most important relationship you will ever have is with yourself. And you also know that you can’t love anyone else if you don’t authentically love yourself. Unfortunately this knowing isn’t always evident in your thoughts and behavior. For most people there is a belief that without a romantic partner they are incomplete. (For those of you in a relationship feeling complete may be dependent on your partner doing and saying exactly the right thing to make you feel good.) Though this idea that happiness is dependent on someone else is a surefire way to give away your power, your potential and your joy. It’s not always easy, and you may feel even a bit silly, doing things like buying yourself flowers, treating yourself to the movies or watching a sunset alone. However, these simple acts of love towards yourself are the kind of action steps that can bring you the fulfillment, happiness and LOVE you’ve been searching for that can only be found within you. It’s in taking responsibility for the amount of love that you create and allow in your life the draws more love closer to you. Yes, it really can be that simple. I can...