Holiday Stress Archives - terri cole
Crap You’re Leaving Behind In 2015 (And What You Might Take Into 2016)

Crap You’re Leaving Behind In 2015 (And What You Might Take Into 2016)

It is time once again for my favorite year-end reflection ritual. I will spend time this week honestly assessing all of my life events of 2015. Many of my clients, family and friends participate in this annual ritual to yield insight and create space to celebrate the wins of this past year as well. “Tomorrow, is the first blank page of a 365 page book. Write a good one.” ― Brad Paisley via @Terri_Cole {CLICK TO TWEET} It can be tempting to plow into 2016 without missing a beat but I hope you choose, instead, to join us for a thorough and honest look back at 2015. New Year’s allows us to clean the slate. To help gain clarity on what needs to go and what you want to take with you to make 2016 what you want it to be, please do the exercise below. Create THREE separate lists: CRAP YOU’RE LEAVING IN 2015 Write down experiences, feelings, people, circumstances… anything that you do not want to drag with you into 2016. Share this list with a trusted friend who will witness without judgment. Then, burn the list SOMEPLACE SAFE so the energy attached to it can be released back into the universe and out of your experience. GEMS YOU’RE KEEPING FROM 2015 Write down what you learned from your experiences, good and bad. Once you honor what you learned, you won’t need to repeat the crappy situations. Even the worst experience has a gem. You just have to be willing to look through the crap to find it. Hold onto this list. WHAT YOU’RE CREATING IN 2016...
Do You Know How to De-Stress?

Do You Know How to De-Stress?

Take a guess at what condition low energy, headaches, fatigue, upset stomach and insomnia indicate. If you said, everyday stress, you are correct. Actually everyday stressors create these symptoms and many others. What can you do to stop suffering from daily stress when we live in a stress filled world? First step is to become mindful of how you are responding to frustration. My pal and the author of, Destressifying, Davidji proposes that all stress stems from your needs going unmet. In our fast paced lives there will always be stuff to sweat, right? Whether it’s traffic, constricted finances or the waiter mishearing your order, life has a way of messing with your well laid plans. If stress is your go to emotion when things go wrong or simply don’t go as planned, then you’re guaranteed to stay stressed. If you can see your stress response clearly, you can decide to change it. This is not to say that certain situations in your life aren’t in fact truly stress worthy. Life can be scary and sometimes it’s close to impossible to control your stress response. However, what I find often in my psychotherapy practice (and living in New York City) is that for many, stress has become their primary response regardless of what is actually happening. Stress can be addictive. As terrible as it feels, subconsciously you may rely on stress to keep you going. When stressed your heart rate increases, your muscles tense and your brain uses more oxygen. Stress can give you a boost of energy and in a real threat in the short term, it can...
Binge Eating, Cravings and Restriction

Binge Eating, Cravings and Restriction

Years ago after I quit smoking, I substituted food to soothe my discomfort (as many do). The same way a cigarette break gave me ‘permission’ to rest for ten minutes (which released tension and changed my feeling state), the salty snack or rich piece of chocolate I craved, seemed to make me feel better in a moment of frustration, anger or sadness. The problem was that after satisfying my craving, I didn’t feel better: sometimes I felt worse. I’m sure you can relate. The fix was temporary and what I actually needed was to develop the ability to effectively manage my feelings and understand what I was really craving. (Which I eventually achieved through years of good therapy.) As a psychotherapist, countless women (and some men) have confided in me about their eating habits. With deep shame and guilt they reveal the heavy secrets they carry about their late-night binges, sometimes consuming up to five thousand calories in a single sitting. Outside of my practice, and especially when I worked as a talent agent for models, women shared their extremely restrictive diets of coffee, diet coke, cigarettes and salads—without dressing. Though, no matter what their diet, everyone seemed to be craving something. To understand what your cravings look for the feelings underneath them @Terri_Cole {CLICK TO TWEET} Your eating habits and especially your cravings can hold the key to information about your emotions and your body. One of my favorite quotes from author Geneen Roth is this: “We don’t want to EAT hot fudge sundaes as much as we want our lives to BE hot fudge sundaes.” When you...
Give Your Brain a Break

Give Your Brain a Break

Vacation is vital to your happiness and your mental health #BrainBreak #TakeIt @Terri_Cole {CLICK TO TWEET} Did you know that almost half of all workers in the US will not take all of their allotted vacation days this year. Does that sound crazy to you or are you one of them? I used to fall into that category but am now reformed. Up until as recently as 2009 I would work on every vacation. I would still talk to certain clients, keep my phone on and check email twice a day. Not exactly relaxing or restorative. Then one of my nearest and dearest pals, Kris Carr called me to tell me about a specialist she’d seen in Chicago who wrote her an actual prescription to take at least two long vacations a year, to work 4 days a week and NEVER ON WEEKENDS (he wrote it on a prescription pad!) He was convinced that overworking was very detrimental to physical and mental well being. We discussed it for a long time and got honest about how both of us were still working way too much and made a girlfriend pact to stop working on vacations and to figure out how to take more time off. For me it was an adjustment at first. Once I got used to the idea, I realized how draining being “on” all the time was and how much better I felt after time off where I was unplugged and present. I am happy to report that eight years later we are both regularly keeping our promise. This summer, Kris was off the grid camping...
Leave the Crap Behind: Let Go of Last Year

Leave the Crap Behind: Let Go of Last Year

One of my favorite year end traditions is one where I spend time reflecting on my year; the good, the bad and everything in between. I then decide what nuggets of wisdom to take with me from each experience into the New Year and what crap I want to let go of and leave behind. All of my clients and pals participate in this annual exercise with interesting and helpful results. “Cheers to a new year and another chance for us to get it right.” @Oprah via @Terri_Cole {CLICK TO TWEET} There is a profound peace in understanding the sometimes painful, but always valuable, lessons that come from challenges and struggles. Once you understand what you learned about yourself or your choices and what you might choose to do differently next time, it is important to consciously release the experience. When you recognize that you can choose to let go and leave behind what you no longer need, you experience a lightness and freedom that inspires transformation. What CRAP are YOU leaving in 2014? #BurntheList #Ritual #2015 @Terri_Cole {CLICK TO TWEET} Use the step below to identify and release anything from 2014 that no longer serves your greatest good. CRAP YOU ARE GOING TO LET GO OF IN  2014 Write down experiences, feelings, people, circumstances… anything that you do not want to drag with you into 2015. Share this list with a trusted friend who will witness without judgment. Then, *safely burn or tear up the list so the energy attached to it can be released back into the universe and out of your experience. Then make sure to...
Morning Make Over Magic

Morning Make Over Magic

How do you spend the first hour of your day? When I was sprinting up the corporate ladder, my mornings were all about caffeine, hard core exercise (for the calorie burn), and conference calls WHILE applying my morning make-up on my drive into the office. (OK I know but mostly I applied while sitting stationary on the 101!) Then I had a health crisis which inspired me to change my life. My mornings became about getting centered and calibrating my energy and attitude for the day ahead. “The first hour of the morning, is the rudder of the day.” ― Henry Ward Beecher via @Terri_Cole {CLICK TO TWEET} I love this simple powerful quote. The first hour of your morning is much like a boat’s rudder as it determines the direction of your day. This time has a powerful effect on your mood, mindset and energy for the remainder of your day. An EXPANDED morning leads to an INSPIRED day @Terri_Cole {CLICK TO TWEET} Even if you can’t spend the first hour unplugged completely, maybe you can incorporate some of the suggestions below. As little as ten to fifteen minutes of any mindfulness practice can increase your focus, energy and lift your mood for the day ahead. Meditate Meditation is always my first morning activity. Any amount of time spent in stillness and silence daily will positively impact the quality of your life and relationships. It provides you with a more reflective and less reactive stance to bring into the interactions of your day. For me, morning meditation is like taking a shower, it washes my mind clean of...