Health Archives - terri cole
36 Recognize Signs of Alcoholism: Two Stories of Addiction with Special Guest Andrea Owens (& Me!)

36 Recognize Signs of Alcoholism: Two Stories of Addiction with Special Guest Andrea Owens (& Me!)

  The opposite of addiction is not sobriety. The opposite of addiction is human connection.” – Johann Hari Author, Chasing the Scream It finally happened in 2008. For a long time after it was over, I referred to it as, those two long weeks in ’08. And while I was in the middle of it I referred to what I was doing as, a social experiment. It was more significant than two weeks might imply and it had nothing at all to do with any social experiment. Plain and simple. I relapsed. I had long ago accepted my status as an alcoholic. In fact, I stopped drinking for good, during the last three months of my senior year of college. As the years went by though, I often wondered if I was REALLY an alcoholic. Maybe it would be different now, maybe I could drink like a normal person after twenty-two years without a drop. I got my answer during those two weeks in 2008, which was a resounding HELL NO! I could not drink moderately and I knew that if I did not stop as abruptly as I started, I would lose everything. I waited eight years to share this experience publically because the mental obsession that the relapse triggered was so terrifying. Every time I thought about telling this tale in hopes that it might help someone else in pain, it felt too soon, until now. Speaking of helping, if you think you or someone you love may have a problem with alcohol below are 20 questions that Alcoholics Anonymous suggests will help to gain clarity. Do you...
34 Looking Inward for Your Health- Dr. Neha Sangwan

34 Looking Inward for Your Health- Dr. Neha Sangwan

  What kind of a communicator are you? Can you say what’s on your mind or do you stuff it down if you think someone won’t like it? There are many reasons we avoid sharing our authentic truth, even at times, with ourselves. Society conditions women to value ‘niceness’ above almost all other virtues. This can be in direct conflict with speaking the truth (which can always be delivered with kindness but isn’t always ‘nice’). Avoiding or denying the truth is not free. We pay with our level of satisfaction, the depth of intimacy in our relationships and often with our health as well. That is why I am so excited to share some deep insights about how to up your communication game from my pal Dr. Neha Sangwan. Neha is an internal medicine doctor and a communication expert. I met her at a Hay House event a few years ago and reconnected with her this past summer at Soul Camp West, when we were bunkmates and both facilitating  workshops. I was so inspired and intrigued by the talk she gave, that I read her phenomenal book, TalkRx: Five Steps to Honest Conversations that Create Connection, Health, and Happiness, over one weekend.    Dr.Sangwan writes about what happens in our lives (and bodies) when we don’t effectively communicate by numbing our emotions, instead of expressing them in relationships and careers. As a therapist for the past, almost twenty years, I see effective communication as one of the top issues my clients present to me. Awareness and desire to change unhealthy communication styles is the first step to transformation. One...
Make Self Care a Habit

Make Self Care a Habit

What if 2016 went down in history as the year you made daily self care a non-negotiable habit like brushing your teeth? How do you think your life might change if your needs, desires and well being commanded as much consideration as everyone else’s in your life? I can tell you from experience prioritizing self care in small ways on a daily basis will positively impact every aspect of your life. The catch is that self care, just like anything else, requires effort and discipline. As my beautiful and wise pal Candice Kumai shared in our Hello Freedom podcast interview today: “If you have discipline you’re able to control so much that can help to improve your life. It sounds like a scary word but it’s really not, it’s actually quite friendly. If you don’t have it [discipline], it can be dangerous.” Taking time to get at least thirty minutes of movement every day, preparing healthy food to have at home and making time to relax and do what makes you feel good, are all really important aspects of self care that many of us don’t have the luxury of spending hours a day doing. But we can all spend minutes taking actions that will nourish mind, body and spirit. It takes effort and discipline to create new healthy habits but You’re Worth It! #LoveYou @Terri_Cole {CLICK TO TWEET} Here are a few simple changes you can consider. Start your morning with a two-minute meditation to set the tone for a good day. Break up the thirty-minute daily goal of tush moving into three ten minute sessions to create...
Crap You’re Leaving Behind In 2015 (And What You Might Take Into 2016)

Crap You’re Leaving Behind In 2015 (And What You Might Take Into 2016)

It is time once again for my favorite year-end reflection ritual. I will spend time this week honestly assessing all of my life events of 2015. Many of my clients, family and friends participate in this annual ritual to yield insight and create space to celebrate the wins of this past year as well. “Tomorrow, is the first blank page of a 365 page book. Write a good one.” ― Brad Paisley via @Terri_Cole {CLICK TO TWEET} It can be tempting to plow into 2016 without missing a beat but I hope you choose, instead, to join us for a thorough and honest look back at 2015. New Year’s allows us to clean the slate. To help gain clarity on what needs to go and what you want to take with you to make 2016 what you want it to be, please do the exercise below. Create THREE separate lists: CRAP YOU’RE LEAVING IN 2015 Write down experiences, feelings, people, circumstances… anything that you do not want to drag with you into 2016. Share this list with a trusted friend who will witness without judgment. Then, burn the list SOMEPLACE SAFE so the energy attached to it can be released back into the universe and out of your experience. GEMS YOU’RE KEEPING FROM 2015 Write down what you learned from your experiences, good and bad. Once you honor what you learned, you won’t need to repeat the crappy situations. Even the worst experience has a gem. You just have to be willing to look through the crap to find it. Hold onto this list. WHAT YOU’RE CREATING IN 2016...
Do You Know How to De-Stress?

Do You Know How to De-Stress?

Take a guess at what condition low energy, headaches, fatigue, upset stomach and insomnia indicate. If you said, everyday stress, you are correct. Actually everyday stressors create these symptoms and many others. What can you do to stop suffering from daily stress when we live in a stress filled world? First step is to become mindful of how you are responding to frustration. My pal and the author of, Destressifying, Davidji proposes that all stress stems from your needs going unmet. In our fast paced lives there will always be stuff to sweat, right? Whether it’s traffic, constricted finances or the waiter mishearing your order, life has a way of messing with your well laid plans. If stress is your go to emotion when things go wrong or simply don’t go as planned, then you’re guaranteed to stay stressed. If you can see your stress response clearly, you can decide to change it. This is not to say that certain situations in your life aren’t in fact truly stress worthy. Life can be scary and sometimes it’s close to impossible to control your stress response. However, what I find often in my psychotherapy practice (and living in New York City) is that for many, stress has become their primary response regardless of what is actually happening. Stress can be addictive. As terrible as it feels, subconsciously you may rely on stress to keep you going. When stressed your heart rate increases, your muscles tense and your brain uses more oxygen. Stress can give you a boost of energy and in a real threat in the short term, it can...
Binge Eating, Cravings and Restriction

Binge Eating, Cravings and Restriction

Years ago after I quit smoking, I substituted food to soothe my discomfort (as many do). The same way a cigarette break gave me ‘permission’ to rest for ten minutes (which released tension and changed my feeling state), the salty snack or rich piece of chocolate I craved, seemed to make me feel better in a moment of frustration, anger or sadness. The problem was that after satisfying my craving, I didn’t feel better: sometimes I felt worse. I’m sure you can relate. The fix was temporary and what I actually needed was to develop the ability to effectively manage my feelings and understand what I was really craving. (Which I eventually achieved through years of good therapy.) As a psychotherapist, countless women (and some men) have confided in me about their eating habits. With deep shame and guilt they reveal the heavy secrets they carry about their late-night binges, sometimes consuming up to five thousand calories in a single sitting. Outside of my practice, and especially when I worked as a talent agent for models, women shared their extremely restrictive diets of coffee, diet coke, cigarettes and salads—without dressing. Though, no matter what their diet, everyone seemed to be craving something. To understand what your cravings look for the feelings underneath them @Terri_Cole {CLICK TO TWEET} Your eating habits and especially your cravings can hold the key to information about your emotions and your body. One of my favorite quotes from author Geneen Roth is this: “We don’t want to EAT hot fudge sundaes as much as we want our lives to BE hot fudge sundaes.” When you...