Happiness Archives - terri cole
Make Self Care a Habit

Make Self Care a Habit

What if 2016 went down in history as the year you made daily self care a non-negotiable habit like brushing your teeth? How do you think your life might change if your needs, desires and well being commanded as much consideration as everyone else’s in your life? I can tell you from experience prioritizing self care in small ways on a daily basis will positively impact every aspect of your life. The catch is that self care, just like anything else, requires effort and discipline. As my beautiful and wise pal Candice Kumai shared in our Hello Freedom podcast interview today: “If you have discipline you’re able to control so much that can help to improve your life. It sounds like a scary word but it’s really not, it’s actually quite friendly. If you don’t have it [discipline], it can be dangerous.” Taking time to get at least thirty minutes of movement every day, preparing healthy food to have at home and making time to relax and do what makes you feel good, are all really important aspects of self care that many of us don’t have the luxury of spending hours a day doing. But we can all spend minutes taking actions that will nourish mind, body and spirit. It takes effort and discipline to create new healthy habits but You’re Worth It! #LoveYou @Terri_Cole {CLICK TO TWEET} Here are a few simple changes you can consider. Start your morning with a two-minute meditation to set the tone for a good day. Break up the thirty-minute daily goal of tush moving into three ten minute sessions to create...
Crap You’re Leaving Behind In 2015 (And What You Might Take Into 2016)

Crap You’re Leaving Behind In 2015 (And What You Might Take Into 2016)

It is time once again for my favorite year-end reflection ritual. I will spend time this week honestly assessing all of my life events of 2015. Many of my clients, family and friends participate in this annual ritual to yield insight and create space to celebrate the wins of this past year as well. “Tomorrow, is the first blank page of a 365 page book. Write a good one.” ― Brad Paisley via @Terri_Cole {CLICK TO TWEET} It can be tempting to plow into 2016 without missing a beat but I hope you choose, instead, to join us for a thorough and honest look back at 2015. New Year’s allows us to clean the slate. To help gain clarity on what needs to go and what you want to take with you to make 2016 what you want it to be, please do the exercise below. Create THREE separate lists: CRAP YOU’RE LEAVING IN 2015 Write down experiences, feelings, people, circumstances… anything that you do not want to drag with you into 2016. Share this list with a trusted friend who will witness without judgment. Then, burn the list SOMEPLACE SAFE so the energy attached to it can be released back into the universe and out of your experience. GEMS YOU’RE KEEPING FROM 2015 Write down what you learned from your experiences, good and bad. Once you honor what you learned, you won’t need to repeat the crappy situations. Even the worst experience has a gem. You just have to be willing to look through the crap to find it. Hold onto this list. WHAT YOU’RE CREATING IN 2016...
Does the perfect life lead to self love?

Does the perfect life lead to self love?

I know you’re a loving person. I have no doubt that you treat your family and friends with kindness and consideration (OK let’s say most of the time). Do you extend your vast capacity to be loving to YOU? Or are you much more judgmental and much less loving towards yourself then you are to others? This is a common experience for many of my over achieving, perfectionist driven clients and is important because a lack of self love can block you from creating the healthy, happy life you deserve. To dive deeper on this I rang up my pal Gala Darling. She is an author, coach and self-love guru and has an eye-opening perspective on the topic. Darling says: “You don’t need to have a “perfect life” to love the way you exist in the world. You don’t need a “perfect body” to appreciate how you look (and have fun with it). You don’t need to BE PERFECT to enjoy your life and live it to the hilt. This [self-love] is not about trying to become an immaculate person. It is about looking at your messiness and realising that you have an inherent beauty regardless. Radical self love is about seeing yourself as you truly are — with no delusions — and choosing to believe that you are pretty goddamn great.” Your flaws are what make you beautiful. #BeYou @GalaDarling via @TerriCole {CLICK TO TWEET} What Gala and I both believe is that there are simple yet highly effective ways for you to amp up your self love — no makeup, man or magical diet required. 1. Self...
Do You Know How to De-Stress?

Do You Know How to De-Stress?

Take a guess at what condition low energy, headaches, fatigue, upset stomach and insomnia indicate. If you said, everyday stress, you are correct. Actually everyday stressors create these symptoms and many others. What can you do to stop suffering from daily stress when we live in a stress filled world? First step is to become mindful of how you are responding to frustration. My pal and the author of, Destressifying, Davidji proposes that all stress stems from your needs going unmet. In our fast paced lives there will always be stuff to sweat, right? Whether it’s traffic, constricted finances or the waiter mishearing your order, life has a way of messing with your well laid plans. If stress is your go to emotion when things go wrong or simply don’t go as planned, then you’re guaranteed to stay stressed. If you can see your stress response clearly, you can decide to change it. This is not to say that certain situations in your life aren’t in fact truly stress worthy. Life can be scary and sometimes it’s close to impossible to control your stress response. However, what I find often in my psychotherapy practice (and living in New York City) is that for many, stress has become their primary response regardless of what is actually happening. Stress can be addictive. As terrible as it feels, subconsciously you may rely on stress to keep you going. When stressed your heart rate increases, your muscles tense and your brain uses more oxygen. Stress can give you a boost of energy and in a real threat in the short term, it can...
Bipolar Disorder: A peak inside the extreme ups and downs

Bipolar Disorder: A peak inside the extreme ups and downs

Have you or a loved one ever struggled with mental illness? This can include depression, addiction or suicidal tendencies. I find in my therapy practice that mental illness is still stigmatized, misunderstood and routinely misdiagnosed. I recently had a client describing her struggle with her mother’s life long, erratic behavior and extreme mood swings. As I continued to ask questions, it became apparent to me that her mother has bipolar disorder and yet she has gone her entire life, undiagnosed. This experience inspired me to write this post. According to the National Alliance for the Mentally Ill, approximately one in five adults in the U.S. — 43.8 million, or 18.5%— experiences mental illness in a given year. These illnesses can range from mild depression to severe schizophrenia to bipolar disorder. Mental illness affects not just those who are diagnosed but their family, friends, caretakers, medical professionals and sometimes complete strangers. There are often no visible signs that indicate mental illness. For this reason it is important to be aware of signs in the behavior and attitude of others. The better you can inform yourself of what to look for the more quickly you can get yourself or someone else help. My client described her mother as, “Moody, unpredictable, sometimes super high and sometimes so low she becomes suicidal.” The child of a completely unpredictable mother will be profoundly impacted by the lack of stability. Bipolar disorder, also known as manic-depressive illness, is a brain disorder that causes unusual shifts in mood, energy, activity levels, and the ability to carry out day-to-day tasks. Though, having a mental illness is in...
3 Ways to Ease Anxiety

3 Ways to Ease Anxiety

Anxiety is a normal human emotion that everyone experiences now and then. Many people feel anxious or nervous when faced with a problem at work, fear or worry about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome. Over 40 million Americans suffer from some kind of anxiety disorder. As a psychotherapist and coach for the past 18 years, I have been asked hundreds of times about how people can better handle their anxiety. Traumatic incidents from 9/11 to multiple school shootings to the financial crisis have made anxiety one of the most common disorders experienced in the United States, according to the National Institute of Mental Health. Anxiety disorders are highly treatable but only about one-third of people suffering seek help. Occasional #Anxiety is normal-Instead of Fighting it Learn to Prevent & Minimize  #BreatheReleaseRepeat @Terri_Cole {CLICK TO TWEET} For many people anxiety is like this… You’re stressed out. At times, you flip out about small things. You sometimes experience rapid heartbeat, dry mouth and a sense that your legs may give out. You’re fearful for no apparent reason. You spend time worrying about things that have not happened but might. You feel constriction in your mind and body often. You have trouble relaxing and sometimes difficulty sleeping. When you suffer from anxiety it can be debilitating. If it goes unexamined or is misunderstood, it can suck the joy out of your life. Through you can learn how to identify and minimize your anxiety triggers along with many natural ways to soothe stress and mitigate anxiety so you can enjoy your amazing, one of a kind, life. It is...