Are You in a Codependent Relationship? - Terri Cole
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Are You in a Codependent Relationship?

Do you constantly organize yourself around another person’s needs? Does their bad mood nullify your good mood? Do you try to control all situations?

If you feel like your relationship is uneven, where one person takes the responsibility of fulfilling all of the needs for the other person, you could be operating in a codependent relationship. Are you or your partner endlessly trying to control the other person’s behavior? Do you feel like you are merged together so that whatever is wrong in their life is also wrong in yours?

Codependency is often a result of some kind of dysfunction in childhood, like lack of safety, having an alcoholic parent, being neglected, etc. In adulthood, codependents tend to take on the emotions and burdens of others – they want to control things when their partner comes home from a bad day because they also feel those negative emotions (as if the bad day happened to them or that they must fix it.) This essentially means codependents make OTHER people’s problems, THEIR problems. Codependency is not just in romantic relationships; you can be codependent with friends, siblings, and even your boss!

Being in a codependent relationship is unhealthy and will ultimately leave you feeling unsatisfied. Constantly depending on another person for your own sense of well-being and needing them to be happy so you can feel happy becomes exhausting.

In this Real Love Revolution video all about Codependency, you will learn:

  • How to Identify the Signs of a Codependent
  • Where Codependency Comes From (Hint: Dysfunctional Family Systems)
  • Behaviors of Partners in a Codependent Relationship
  • How to Know if YOU Are Codependent

To increase your understanding of codependency, check out the Symptoms of Codependency Checklist to get more details on the behaviors of codependents so you can evaluate yourself and the relationships in your life. Knowledge is power when it comes to kicking codependent behavior. You deserve to be happy and healthy, which rarely happens in codependent relationships. Reacting to the other person becomes the main way of interacting which does not allow for an authentic response. A healthy relationship is interdependent where you count on each other for support but are allowed to be separate enough to have your own experiences.

Drop me a comment here on the blog and let me know what codependent behaviors you have noticed in your life. Then head on over to my YouTube Channel and SUBSCRIBE for free access to every Real Love Revolution vid! Join the conversation with #RealLoveRevolution on social media and share the love!

Take the time now to watch this video and read through the Symptoms of Codependency Checklist to raise your awareness of your own potentially self-sabotaging, codependent behavior. You can have a healthy relationship AND have your own life.

You might just need a little coaching 😉

(That’s where I come in)

Thanks for watching, reading and sharing!

And as always, take care of YOU.

Terri Cole
http://terricole.com
9 Comments
  • Jessic
    Posted at 15:26h, 12 September Reply

    This is me! I just don’t know how to stop…. My husband and me two sons.

    • Terri Cole
      Posted at 18:26h, 12 September Reply

      Jessic-
      You can learn! Check out this book by Mary Crocker Cook called Awakening Hope: A Developmental, Behavioral, Biological Approach to Codependency Treatment. As long as you are willing to do the work to understand your own behavior-you can change this codependency dance you are doing in your family. Good luck! xo

  • Terri Cole
    Posted at 18:29h, 12 September Reply

    Ellen,
    Thank you so much for the comment and for being here! Yes it feels goooooooooood! There is so much freedom is not reacting to life from a place of fear, programming and lack. Keep up the good work! xo

  • Nicole
    Posted at 22:25h, 12 September Reply

    Terri- This was such a great video!! I am a therapist and have read every book about co-dependency under the sun! I loved how you summed it up so beautifully in a way that makes sense! I am so excited for your future videos and hope to learn more about shifting this dynamic!

    • Terri Cole
      Posted at 03:37h, 13 September Reply

      Nicole-
      So happy you found the video concise (since there is soooooooo much to say on this topic!) Thank you for commenting and being here. I am lit up about this #RealLoveRevolution series and the conversations that are blossoming from it!

  • Sharon
    Posted at 02:35h, 13 September Reply

    Hey Terri:

    Reminds me of a joke: “What is the definition of codependency? When you die you see someone else’s life
    pass in front of your eyes”.

    • Terri Cole
      Posted at 03:35h, 13 September Reply

      hahahaha that is funny AND astute!
      thanks for sharing Sharon 😉

  • Rex
    Posted at 05:03h, 15 September Reply

    Taking effort to fulfill some of the needs & solve the financial problems of my relatives. Can this be called being codependent on my side?

    • Terri Cole
      Posted at 12:33h, 15 September Reply

      Yes Rex. Codependent on both sides. Every relationship is 50% one party and 50% the other. You take care of them and they either expect you to or allow you to. Try to do more taking care of you and less of everyone else please! I’m glad you’re here xo

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