Are You Crazy or Is Someone Gaslighting You? - Terri Cole
post-template-default,single,single-post,postid-20488,single-format-standard,qode-quick-links-1.0,ajax_fade,page_not_loaded,,qode-title-hidden,qode_grid_1300,qode-theme-ver-11.1,qode-theme-bridge,wpb-js-composer js-comp-ver-4.12.1,vc_responsive

Are You Crazy or Is Someone Gaslighting You?

In the final scenes of, The Girl on the Train, we find out Rachel (played by Emily Blunt) isn’t the pathetic, raging drunk she was initially depicted as. It’s revealed that her alcoholism is a direct result of her husband, Tom’s (played by Justin Theroux) manipulation both during and after their marriage. He repeatedly pressured her to drink excessively and then planted false memories the next day.

Tom was gaslighting Rachel.

As defined by The National Domestic Violence Hotline: Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse in which a partner causes the victim to question their own feelings, instincts, and sanity.

The term “gaslighting” has been used quite a bit in reference to strategic tactics used during the most recent US presidential campaign. This is when a candidate claimed something had (or hadn’t) happened and when confronted with contradictory evidence, refused to acknowledge otherwise. The term originally became popularized from a 1938 film of the same name, starring Ingrid Bergman who is slowly being driven to doubt her own reality because her husband intentionally lied to gain control over her so repeatedly and with so much confidence that she begins to doubt her own sanity. And, in this film like in real life, a bit of Stockholm Syndrome can develop as well: The victim, now uncertain that she can perceive reality correctly, becomes more dependent on the gaslighter than ever.

Unfortunately, gaslighting is not reserved for movie plotlines or the political campaign trail, it is a form of psychological abuse that happens everyday in real relationships.

Sometimes the gaslighter is doing it intentionally to gain control and power over their victim and sometimes they have the belief that their reality can and should overwrite their partners. Either way, if you are in a relationship that has you questioning your own memory, perception and even your sanity this week’s video/blog/podcast are for you.

In this Real Love Revolution video all about gaslighting, I will cover:

  • The definition of gaslighting
  • How to know when you are being gaslighted
  • Stages of being on the receiving end of gaslighting
  • How to accept this reality so you can change it

A few indications that you might be a victim of gaslighting are constantly second-guessing yourself, feeling confused about what did and did not occur, not telling other people in your life about the conflict in your relationship, constantly apologizing and despite having many positive things in your life, feeling unhappy or depressed.

Click below to download the full Checklist: Signs You Are Being Gaslighted now to understand if this is happening to you.

If this blog describes your situation, please don’t give up. The first step is to understand that it’s happening. In next week’s follow up video, I’m going to help you figure out what your 50% is of this dysfunctional behavioral dance is and how to draw boundaries in your relationship around gaslighting. This kind of manipulation is not love.

Drop me a comment here on the blog and let me know what resonated with you after watching this video. Then head over to my YouTube Channel and SUBSCRIBE for free access to every Real Love Revolution video! Join the conversation with #RealLoveRevolution on social media and share the love!

And ladies, if you haven’t yet joined the Real Love Revolution waiting list to gain immediate access to our private FB group and receive a bundle of FREE gifts from me plus a monthly livestream Q&A on the last Friday of the month at 5PM ET, please click here to join us!

Thanks for watching, reading, and sharing!

And as always, take care of YOU.

Terri Cole
  • Is Someone Gaslighting You? | Everyday News Update
    Posted at 13:50h, 29 September Reply

    […] here to watch and download the full Checklist: Signs You Are Being Gaslighted now to understand if this […]

  • Gloria
    Posted at 22:02h, 30 September Reply

    Presentation is excellent…thank you

    • Terri Cole
      Posted at 22:17h, 17 October Reply

      So glad you found this helpful, Gloria!

  • Angie
    Posted at 18:17h, 15 November Reply

    Thank you so much for this! Have you ever done anything in covert narcissism? I would love to understand it better.

    • Terri Cole
      Posted at 12:23h, 29 November Reply

      I will add it to my “Topic List”! Thanks for being here 😉

  • anonymous
    Posted at 13:03h, 18 December Reply

    I was gaslighted for years. The more I caught on the worse it got. The more he drank too. I have always had an extremely strong mind, an started writing things down when a heated moment arose. So I knew I wast crazy. He convinced me and his family for years that I was doing things I knew I wasn’t. He also said I was bipolar and would often put me down in front of the kids. One time he threw a beer bottle on the wall and said I did it. Leaving the dripping watermarks on the wall. Later my kids told me they saw daddy do it.

    One day he hurt our son on accident while he was drunk. Then he threw our 8 year old son to the bed he shouted I was hurting him. I didn’t hurt you. (all while my son is holding is arm and back in tears of pain.) I guess I am a F’N lair, he said. My 13 year old little girl was there to witness it. That was it for me. I at that moment realized he was doing it to our children too. I thought I could protect them and I couldn’t. I filed a PPO and left him the next day. Now he is telling the court I am crazy. But my kids are now striving without him in our life. They actually talk and we laugh and play games. Soon the date will come around where I will need to prove the things he did so he cant gain control and hurt our children again. How do I prove to the court that this man is dangerous and is an emotional abuser.

    • Terri Cole
      Posted at 00:15h, 23 December Reply

      Sorry to hear of your struggle, Shannon but good for you for getting out! Document everything that happens in writing. Make no verbal agreements at all – do as much with your ex over email or text so you will have evidence of any wrong doing. So good to hear your kids are doing better now. Keep up the good work and don’t let him push your buttons. You can do it!

Post A Comment