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The Kindness Games

The Golden Rule: Do unto others, as you would have them do unto you.

We all know it, but do we really, truly practice it? Are you kind or cruel? No one enjoys being treated in a cruel manner, so why is it challenging at times to not inflict that feeling on others?

Kindness is a choice. Before you speak, before you say anything to anyone, ask yourself, “Is this kind, will it help, and is it true?” Use your words wisely, as a way to add value.

We recently discussed how unsolicited advice and chronic criticism robs the other person of their dignity. I had a friend who would do this all the time, and it would make me so angry. She would say things like, “I liked your hair better the other way” or “Those pants don’t flatter you.” I would think to myself, and then started saying it to her face, “I don’t recall asking you for your opinion, please don’t assume I want it.” Since I wasn’t asking her how I looked in my pants or which hairstyle flattered my face more, I felt assaulted when she just spit it out, like toxic word vomit. The assumption that everyone is interested in your “truth” is a wrong one.

Also, be selective about whose opinion you value and seek those people out when you want input. What everyone else thinks about you, your hair, or your pants is none of your business.

I want to challenge you to dial into your language and why you are less than kind on occasion. Is it to be funny? Maybe it makes you feel better about yourself to put someone else down? Or are you plagued by the misconception that if you have an opinion about something, anything, it is your duty to share? (Now you know that it’s not ;-) )

Can you take the next seven days and be kind in your words, thoughts, and deeds. Ok, thoughts might be the last to come, but can you be kind in your words and deeds? This requires you to be aware in the present moment—to take a moment to pause before you hit the play button and say whatever is on your mind. What do you notice changes in yourself and in your relationships, even to strangers, when you are nothing but thoughtful? Let us know!

I hope you have an amazingly kind week to others and to yourself and, as always, take care of you.

Love Love Love

Terri

8 Comments

  1. Love this week’s tune up. For me taking what someone else says or how they act, unfortunately, drives my unkindness–mostly out of hurt.

    Thanks for the reminder. It will be interesting to see if I can remain kind being with my ex this week.

    Reply
    • Val-Romantic relationships that have gone bad are the most challenging as they trigger us the most! ‘It’s a thin line between love and hate’ as the song claims. But you can do it-decide you will not take or throw out any bait-NO MATTER WHAT! And you will walk away being empowered beyong words!
      Sending you good energy to be successful <3
      love love love
      Terri

      Reply
  2. I needed to hear this Terri. I told one of my family members that I thought she had put on weight!! It was unsolicited & really rather mean of me. I just blurted it out & then felt awful about it!
    I justified it by telling myself I was saying it for her health but honestly, it felt horrible!
    We often think because we are close to someone it’s somehow ok to say something but your post reminds us- it’s so NOT ok!
    Thanks xx

    Reply
    • Yes today at work I may have reacted wrongly with a coworker. She asked me a question and it allowed my mind to jump way ahead of what she was saying and I think she took it to mean I was upset with her. When in actuality, I was upset that I had been put in that position in the first place. It was totally irrelavent to her question. Anyways it worked itself out.

      Reply
      • Kate-
        We all make mistakes like that since we are human. Most important is that you realize it and simply apologize with no need for an explanation. Owning our mistakes with co-workers builds good faith and trust. Good for you!
        love love love
        Terri

        Reply
    • Yvonne-
      Hey at least you realized it and apologized…right? (Cuz if you missed that step you might want to revisit that conversation ;)
      love love love
      terri

      Reply
  3. I am studying out kindness in the Bible and what God says kindness should be. It is somewhat ashaming to say but I have the hardest time with my family especially my kids. I tend to bark out commands and corrections with no thought for their feelings. As God commands we should always try to build others up even in correction. I appreciate what you shared and want to take your challenge as a challenge from God. It will help me reflect on God’s word and some practical ways I can change and truly be kind to others. I would like to share that when I try to do it on my own for just my purposes I can not stay consistent. Only when I pray and rely on God can I be consistent in fighting off the human nature to be selfish.

    Ephesians 4:31-32
    31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

    Thanks again for sharing.

    Reply
    • Maria-
      Good for you! Yes thinking about your kids feelings and being more calm will make you feel better in all areas of your life. Meditation and prayer can help release stress so I hope it helps. Good luck!

      Reply

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