It Is Not About the Stuff

It Is Not About the Stuff

Happy Holidays, Elated Elves!

As we are frantically buying gifts, trying to figure out what everyone wants and needs, and deciding what we would like to unwrap on Christmas morn, I want to share a story with you about a client.

A couple years ago, this very dutiful, loving only child walked into her appointment with me hysterically crying because she did not have the money to buy her parents an iPad for Christmas. I was trying to understand why she thought her parents would care if she bought them such a lavish gift for Christmas. I emphasized, “What kind of daughter are you everyday? In November, July?”  Because that is what it’s truly about – how we treat people in general, not just when a special occasion rolls around.

Do you struggle with the mindset that this time of year is all about the stuff? Do you look at what others buy you and equate it with how much they love you?

I’m challenging you to do it differently this year. Put the focus on how kind, generous, and present you can be this holiday.

I would love to hear what you think about this tip. You can also press the Facebook and Twitter buttons to share this tip with family and friends who may need a reminder of the reason for the season.

I hope you have a festive week, and, as always, take care of you.

Love Love Love
Terri

7 Comments

  1. Yes, yes, yes! It isn’t about the stuff. Let’s spend time with the people we care about instead of spending dollars!

    Reply
  2. I kind of have it the other way round – my family ask me each year what I want for christmas (gifts) and I feel huge pressure to come up with a list of ‘stuff’ that I don’t really want. When i tell them that i don’t really want anything, they get angry with me (especially my mother). It really stresses me out. She doesn’t like it if I ask for money, or to buy me ‘an experience’ like tickets to a show which i’d value more – it’s important to her to give me ‘stuff’. She says i’m spoiling it if i don’t have wrapped gifts to open.
    I know some people might read this and think ‘why are you complaining, it’s great that your mom wants to give you gifts’ but actually it ends up putting pressure on me to give her ideas for things that i don’t really want.
    Um, any ideas Terri?!!

    Reply
    • Hi there~
      I would ask for what you actually want like a massage or what ever it is and if they want to wrap the gift cert than great. I would not come up with things you do not want to please the other person no matter who it is. If you mom gets mad that is ok she will get over it. If you want an experience than say that and if she does not want to add money to it that is her call. Speak your truth and let the rest go. Do not come up with fake things for anyone to buy you so they are not ‘mad’~not good for you. How you feel matter, S, so honor that!
      love love love
      terri

      Reply
      • Thank you Terri!I needed to hear that – ‘how you feel matters’, i will keep this in mind like a mantra throughout the holidays xoxo

        Reply
  3. Wonderful point to “Put the focus on how kind, generous, and present you can be this holiday.” I will be trying to “be more present”. If the kids want to go for a walk or play a game, how about “yes” instead of “I’m too busy, maybe later.”!

    Reply
    • LOVE this Bryan! Circle back and let us know how it goes ;)
      love love love
      terri

      Reply
  4. I was drawn by the honsety of what you write

    Reply

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