It’s what we all want and how we are meant to live.
Yet so often, material success and the things we think will create the freedom we crave, don’t.
So let’s focus our energy on what will.
Here you will learn strategies and tools to create real Freedom by identifying and transforming the fear based, limiting beliefs that are keeping you stuck.
Fear is the opposite of Freedom (and a tricky bastard).
After earning- what I now refer to as- my PhD in Fear, I turned my pain into purpose and taught thousands of clients and students to transform their own fear into Freedom.
Now it’s your turn.
So take a deep breath, say Hello, Freedom and buckle up!
Love Love Love
“Terri Cole is a powerful force of nature. She will teach you how to smash your blocks and unleash your inner fire. If you want to be fearless and free, listen to Terri. Listen very carefully.”
Bestselling Author, Activist, Cancer Thriver
“Some of us are natural IDENTIFIERS, like Terri Cole. Cole’s a psychotherapist-coach, and, as my mother would say, Terri can “shoot bullshit out of the air.” Lucid, like wow. She can look at a relationship dynamic, or a business structure, or a repeating pattern and bam, fwam, shazam, she can tell you what’s really going on in one sentence, in one minute. And she does it freely, anytime of the day, with anyone who’s ready for it.”
Author, Speaker, Publisher, Fire Starter, Creator of Desire Map
My first internship in grad school was at a posh drug treatment clinic in midtown Manhattan. The owner of the facility was a tall, handsome, quiet, well known addiction expert and an MD. I went to great lengths to avoid interacting with Dr. W. If I saw him coming towards me in the hall, I would panic and ditch into the ladies room to avoid even passing by him. Now you might think I was well aware of how extreme my reaction was to Dr.W…but actually I thought he was cold, unfeeling and a little scary and that hiding in the bathroom from a man I barely knew, in a professional setting, was a completely normal response. Until I started talking about it in therapy. After discussing Dr. W with my therapist, she asked me to describe my father. I described him as tall, handsome, quiet, very successful, cold, unfeeling and a little scary. The connection was made! My response to Dr W was actually a transference reaction as he reminded me of my father and was also in position of power and authority in my life. Once I saw the connection and processed why I feared my own father growing up, I was able to establish a healthy working relationship with Dr.W at the clinic and was hired to run groups there after I graduated.
Most people can relate to my story. If you start to look for the behavioral, situational and emotional patterns in your life, they will emerge. As a therapist, one of my main functions is to gather information and then uncover the patterns. If you find yourself repeatedly in unfulfilling relationships, toxic work environments or friendships you need to follow the dots backwards in your life experience to find the beginning of the pattern or as I refer to it, Situation Zero.
Many situations people recreate as adults stem from childhood. Whether you grew up in a healthy home, or a dysfunctional one, you adapted a belief system and learned behaviors that created the blueprints that are downloaded into your unconscious mind. You have used these blueprints to build your life.
A downloaded blueprint is a belief system that is planted during childhood. These blueprints, are like the architectural blueprint for a house, that someone else designed. Most of the time you don’t even question them because you aren’t aware that this isn’t simply ‘how the world is.’ It is my job to help people uncover and understand what they often cannot see. I find that most people are completely unaware of how their unresolved past is informing their present.
No matter what the situation or relationship, there is always an opportunity to understand yourself more deeply. In order to create a freedom filled and luscious life you must look at the areas where what you seek alludes you. If you have repeated pain around work, love, health or money, then it is mandatory that you do some deep work to uncover why. This is how you will discover the origin of the limiting belief or behavior.
Many people find it easier to blame. They blame their partner, they blame their boss, they blame their family, friends; you name it, they blame it. Yet, all blame does is keep you stuck. Sure you may get a new job or find a new relationship, but remember, “wherever you go, there you are.” For most people it takes countless times, sometimes even a lifetime to learn that when situations keep repeating themselves, two, three… ten times, the issue and the answers aren’t out there, they are in you.
This truth is meant to be liberating not blaming. Blaming anyone is pointless, as an end game. Understanding and honoring what happened in your life and how it affected you is productive and leads to healing. Taking responsibility to figure it out might be the only thing that leads you to sustainable, lasting change. Then when you discover a dysfunctional pattern or have an issue, you will know where to start looking for answers.
One of the first steps to shifting limiting beliefs that create harmful patterns is to connect the dots backwards. When you find yourself in any sort of conflict ask yourself ‘Have I experienced this before?’ If yes, then ask yourself ‘where and when did I experience this?’ And lastly ask ‘what did this experience lead me to believe?’
If you find that your past experiences have caused you to have a belief system that makes you feel negative about yourself, other people or the world, then know know this, YOU CAN CHANGE YOUR BELIEFS! Just because someone else drew up the blueprints for your house doesn’t mean that you have to keep it! If you don’t like what you see, or think, change it. It can take time and it does take effort but I want you to know that it is totally possible.
I always love connecting with you so please share with me below one area where you experience repeating patterns. Tell me what these experiences have lead you to believe. Then tell me the shifts you would like to make in your beliefs so that you can stop reliving this pattern. Also if you have any questions or need some help doing the deep dive that this work requires, ask me. I love being of service to you.
Remember that you are the common denominator in your life so let that empowered truth propel you forward into a week of kind inquiry and, as always, take care of you.
Love Love Love
*image courtesy of Laura Taylor
Lately I’ve been talking a lot about fear! As many of you know, decoding fear is a passion of mine. And if you know my story you know that fear and I have had an interesting relationship throughout my life. I went from believing I was living fearlessly, to being afraid to be alone in my own home, to working through that fear and committing my life to helping others do the same.
Fear shows up in some interesting ways. It can be an extremely tricky emotion to master because it takes on many forms, often masquerading as logical emotions. Fear can dictate your behavior, in ways that keep you feeling frustrated, uninspired and confused. Many of my clients and students feel trapped, in subtle and more obvious ways, by fear.
Then there are the people that we all see, kicking the crap out of their Mafia Minds. They are taking risks, putting themselves out there to be seen. They don’t let fear of failure stop them from going for it. These people have businesses they love, healthy and happy relationships with rich, satisfying lives. And because I know them, and have worked to become one of them, I can say that when you transform your relationship to fear you become unstoppable.
It’s not that people who are living their dreams are fearless. It’s that their dreams, their happiness and their freedom have become more compelling than their fear. They have learned to literally Flip the Script on Fear. They’ve changed their mind about fear and now actually use it to propel themselves forward towards their dreams.
If you see people around you creating lives they love and wonder what they know that you don’t, you’re not alone. If you are working round the clock to get it all done, only to feel too drained to be inspired at the end of each day, you’re not alone. If you feel ready to move forward but don’t know exactly how, know that you don’t have to do it alone, and that I am here to help.
In the last week I launched my first ever 4 week online course, which starts on October 6th, with input from my amazing posse of Fear Flippers! This course includes bonuses and interviews from the most vibrant, successful & brilliant people I know including Danielle LaPorte, Kris Carr, Gabby Bernstein, Patricia Moreno, Ashley Turner, Alex Jamieson, The Astro Twins, Lara Riggio from The Lara Touch, Robyn Youkillis, Jessica Ortner from The Tapping Solution, Shalini Vadhera and more!
I know investing your time and money can feel scary, but remember it’s that very feeling of fear that may be keeping you from living a life you love. People have been asking me for years to create an online course that is affordable so they can work with me. The early bird price for this course is just $197 and expires tomorrow night at midnight! That includes the 4 week course, all the bonuses and a 60 minute live group call every week with a private Facebook group too!! Have you ever spent $200 bucks on clothes you barely wore or products that sat in a drawer? Maybe I am projecting here, but honestly who hasn’t? How about investing that amount in YOU and the possibility of living a life that actually thrills you? The private Facebook group will be an inspired space to get connected with like minded, supportive pals from all over the world. You will decode your relationship to fear, learn to meditate, change your language and get unstuck! I am so excited about the possibility of spending 30 days with you that will absolutely change your life!
I want you to wake up every day psyched to be alive and inspired by what you are doing! I believe that life can be full of freedom, fun, ease and abundance. And I believe that if we work together, I can help you create a life you truly love.
• Feel like you are working endlessly towards goals but still can’t seem to get
This course is for you
• Crave deeper meaning and more joy in your day to day life, work and
This course is absolutely for you
• Are tired of thinking ‘why not me,’ while you see others creating lives they
This course is for you
• Still have dreams that you are unwilling to give up on
This course is totally for you
• Don’t understand the underlying blocks stopping you from moving forward
This course is for you
• Are ready for inspiration, support and connection with like-minded people
This course is definitely for you!
CLICK HERE to see what we will cover each week and to learn what you can expect
from the course.
Don’t miss the AMAZING bonuses from Gabby Bernstein, Kris Karr, Danielle LaPorte, Kate Northrup, Mama Gena, Patricia Moreno, Alex Jamieson and Lara from The Lara Touch!
If you have any questions at all feel free to connect with me via email at sarah@TerriCole.com or through FaceBook or Twitter.
Have an awesome week and as always, take care of you.
Love Love Love
P.S. – DEADLINE for Flip the Script On Fear & Become Unstoppable Online Course $197 pricing is Wednesday, September 24th at midnight!
P.P.S. – Stay connected with me on FaceBook and Twitter for announcements on
additional bonuses as they come in.
*image courtesy of Jared Tarbell
Some of the most famous, influential and successful people of our time, have at one time experienced major failure. As a child, Beyonce lost Star Search. Oprah was fired from her first job on television as a news anchor. And Walt Disney was fired from his newspaper job for his “lack of imagination.”
These are just a few of the countless famous failures that you may or may not have known about. It is easy to forget that the people we see as cultural icons now, were once simply people with dreams and passion. What these three people, and all successful people, have in common is their fear of quitting or being considered mediocre. In the three examples above the ‘failure’ fueled the passion to stay in the game.
Mediocrity is defined as the quality of something that is not very good. And while Bey, O and Walt had talents that were, according to their superiors, not good enough, they never stopped trying. Even if they were afraid to fail they did not let it stop them from staying the course. Their persistence, talent and passion put each of them in the category of greatest talents of the last century.
Fear of failure can keep you stuck or even paralyze you when it comes to taking the next steps towards your desired goal. It can also push you into unfocused overdrive, causing you to feel unfulfilled and frazzled. Neither of which will get you where you want to go.
Try to remember that fear is just a feeling, like all your other feelings. It should not have some elevated status in your emotional life. What if Walt Disney never moved past his newspaper failure? Whether you’re a fan or not, a world without Disney would be a very different place. What if Oprah decided to give up on television and chose a more ‘practical’ career. We would all be worse off as she has touched millions of people lives and invited us all to think differently. And we don’t call Beyonce Queen B for nothing. She is an inspiration and becoming an icon.
Your dreams, big or small, are specific to you. No one has dreams in the exact way that you do, and no one can express them as you will. In the face of fear try to remember this awesome Martha Graham quote:
“There is a vitality, a life force, an energy,
a quickening that is translated through you into action,
and because there is only one of you in all time, this expression is unique.
And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and will be lost.”
― Martha Graham
The expression of your dreams and desires is vital, and as powerful as fear can feel, you are more powerful. Fear often masquerade as other emotions, that is why decoding your relationship to fear is mandatory if you want to bust through it’s blocks.
Ninety-eight percent of the time fear is just a feeling. When you can identify fear for what it really is, you begin to minimize it’s power. Take time to recognize where you feel fear in your body and what it feels like. Some people feel fear in their stomach, others in their throat or even legs. In moments when you are experiencing fear take a few seconds to scan your body. Where do you feel discomfort? Breath into this spot. When you acknowledge how you feel and bring your attention to it, you actually are allowing yourself to feel the feeling so it can then pass through you. Feel it, to heal it.
Feeling your fear is one of the many ways that believe it or not, you can make fear work for you. How do you manage your fear? In the comments below I would love to hear how fear affects you? Do you fear failure or mediocrity? Or both? Also make sure to check out the P.S. below for a super special opportunity to hang out with me, get your burning questions answered and receive free access to one of my most popular downloads. You won’t want to miss this…
As always, take care of you.
Love Love Love
On September 16th Learn 3 of my best techniques to… TRANSFORM Fear & Become Unstoppable Register now for my FREE 1 hour call 8 pm ET → CLICK HERE Flip the Script on Fear, Make Fear Work for You
*image courtesy of Hot Gossip Italia