It’s what we all want and how we are meant to live.
Yet so often, material success and the things we think will create the freedom we crave, don’t.
So let’s focus our energy on what will.
Here you will learn strategies and tools to create real Freedom by identifying and transforming the fear based, limiting beliefs that are keeping you stuck.
Fear is the opposite of Freedom (and a tricky bastard).
After earning- what I now refer to as- my PhD in Fear, I turned my pain into purpose and taught thousands of clients and students to transform their own fear into Freedom.
Now it’s your turn.
So take a deep breath, say Hello, Freedom and buckle up!
Love Love Love
“Terri Cole is a powerful force of nature. She will teach you how to smash your blocks and unleash your inner fire. If you want to be fearless and free, listen to Terri. Listen very carefully.”
Bestselling Author, Activist, Cancer Thriver
“Some of us are natural IDENTIFIERS, like Terri Cole. Cole’s a psychotherapist-coach, and, as my mother would say, Terri can “shoot bullshit out of the air.” Lucid, like wow. She can look at a relationship dynamic, or a business structure, or a repeating pattern and bam, fwam, shazam, she can tell you what’s really going on in one sentence, in one minute. And she does it freely, anytime of the day, with anyone who’s ready for it.”
Author, Speaker, Publisher, Fire Starter, Creator of Desire Map
How would you describe your relationship style? Do you treat your partner as a person to relate to or a project to be managed? The way you relate in a romantic relationship has everything to do with what you experienced growing up. This is what I call your, Downloaded Love Blueprint. In my parents marriage my mother was constantly trying to manage my father. She withheld information that would upset him and we were expected to organize around him and what he wanted. I learned that I did not want that type of relationship.
When I met my husband Vic, I knew that our relationship was different from those in my past. I could be myself. I wasn’t afraid of what he thought or how he would react to things. His words and actions were consistent. Instead of managing him, I felt fully supported by him and vice versa.
Being in a relationship where you are ‘managing’ your partner is really doing a disservice to both of you. This behavior falls into the category or having, The Disease to Please. And the real question is how can anyone authentically love you if you don’t allow them to authentically know you? Trying to manage another person denies you of real support and denies the other person the opportunity to step into their potential as a partner, not a project.
A supportive relationship starts with two people who take care of themselves, first. Being with someone who enhances your life rather than drains it, is an indication that you are getting and giving healthy support. If you find yourself automatically giving more than you expect, explore the why. In order to get more support, you have to know where and when you need it. Then you have to be willing to ask for it and allow it.
For many people, (listen up, moms) you may deny support by constantly handling everything alone. Sometimes this is because you need it done your way (which according to Janny Cole, if you need it done your way you will be doing it all yourself!) Once your partner sees you as someone who can do it all, they won’t offer their support because they won’t think you need, or want it. People, especially men, like to feel needed. So when it comes to getting more support ask for it, accept it and be grateful.
Remember that you are responsible for the 50% that you bring to any relationship. Keep this in mind if you are seeking a relationship or already in one. Give your partner (or potential partner) the chance to show up for you. Opening yourself up to another makes you vulnerable but it’s worth the risk because healthy love is so much sweeter than playing out some age old dysfunction until the end of time. You deserve luscious, fun, functional love!
Now, in the comments below I’d love to hear from you. Share your thoughts on the importance of support and authenticity in relationships. What do you think about asking for support? Do you do it? Will you now? I want to hear from you too!
Remember it’s important to care of each other and to as always, take care of you.
Love Love Love
*image courtesy of Nic Price
How do you spend the first hour of your day?
When I was sprinting up the corporate ladder, my mornings were all about caffeine, hard core exercise (for the calorie burn), and conference calls WHILE applying my morning make-up on my drive into the office. (OK I know but mostly I applied while sitting stationary on the 101!)
Then I had a health crisis which inspired me to change my life. My mornings became about getting centered and calibrating my energy and attitude for the day ahead.
I love this simple powerful quote. The first hour of your morning is much like a boat’s rudder as it determines the direction of your day. This time has a powerful effect on your mood, mindset and energy for the remainder of your day.
Even if you can’t spend the first hour unplugged completely, maybe you can incorporate some of the suggestions below. As little as ten to fifteen minutes of any mindfulness practice can increase your focus, energy and lift your mood for the day ahead.
Meditation is always my first morning activity. Any amount of time spent in stillness and silence daily will positively impact the quality of your life and relationships. It provides you with a more reflective and less reactive stance to bring into the interactions of your day. For me, morning meditation is like taking a shower, it washes my mind clean of any mental ‘dirt’ from yesterday.
Want to join me and more than 2000 of my friends? Join the FREE Meditation Integration and get daily guided meditations delivered to your inbox. CLICK HERE to sign up
You don’t need 60 minutes of anything to get your blood flowing. Spending as little as 10 minutes taking a quick morning walk around the neighborhood can clear your mind and elevate your mood. Don’t let your own imposed rules and beliefs about what it really means to ‘exercise,’ get in the way of doing something.
Eat and Hydrate
Calories are key. After getting seven to eight hours of sleep your body is ready to refuel. Start with a warm cup of lemon water followed by eight ounces of regular water. If you drink coffee or tea it is best to consume it with food to keep your blood sugar levels stable. Some of my favorite morning meals include fruit, millet or oatmeal, avocado toast or a green smoothie. If you’re on a tight schedule try to prepare your breakfast the night before but don’t skip it!
Write to make space. Consider trying a morning, Mind Dump, where you write without editing just to clear brain congestion to make way for intentional thoughts. (Kind of like morning pages, from Julia Cameron’s, The Artist’s Way.) Then spend some time writing down your intentions and goals for the day.
When you prepare yourself in the morning, both mentally and physically, you control the rudder of your life. When you start your day consciously, your results are intentional.
Now I’d love to hear from you. If you are a morning disaster, what will you do differently this week? Do you have any non negotiable morning practices that set you up to succeed? Give me some of your best tips, as I am always looking for new ways to spice up my morning routine.
To another week dedicated to as always, taking care of you.
Love Love Love
*image courtesy of Dave Dugdale
Relaxed. Happy. Expansive. Joyful. Present. Grateful.
How do you want to feel in these coming weeks?
Most people head into the Holiday season feeling stressed and seriously overwhelmed. Spending extended time with family plus the endless marathon of shopping, wrapping, cooking and entertaining can make anyone’s heart feel two sizes too small. So how can you avoid getting wrapped up (pun intended) in the holiday mayhem?
By creating a Holiday Pre-Game plan, that’s how.
A Holiday Pre-Game plan has nothing to do with a gift list or a potluck dish. It is the act of setting your intention to create enough internal and external space and expansion to be present to how you want to feel and to what really matters to you during the holiday season. So this year I invite you to edit your to-do list BEFORE the Holidays arrive and turn some of your attention inward, to your state of being.
So instead of over committing to others, and stressing about getting it all done. This year, do it differently by committing to some hardcore self care. When it comes to feeling less stress and on top of your game, meditation is key!
Your immediate thought might be that you have waaay too much to accomplish to spend time sitting on a pillow repeating, “Om.” Though I’d like you to consider that a scientific study published in The Harvard Business Review, indicates that meditation can increase your productivity and mental stability. All of which could be very beneficial to you during this busy time of year. (Or anytime really.)
Plus, the best thing about meditation is you can do it anywhere, anytime, and it’s free! (Take that, commercialism!) If meditation is new to you or you just want to freshen up your skills, then join me and thousands of others for my FREE Meditation Integration. Starting TODAY through December 21st I’ll offer daily information, support and a guided meditation, all delivered to your inbox, to help you experience the benefits that a meditation practice will bring. Join me now and invite your family and friends too!
Now I want to hear from you. In the comments below let me know how you want to feel this Holiday season and what you plan on doing, like meditation, or not doing, like extra baking, in order to get there. This season only comes once a year, but it comes every year, so now is the time to plan to make it what you want it to be.
Join me for the next 3 weeks-don’t worry I will do all the heavy lifting -all you need do is sit on your tush, click the link and get your Zen on!
I can’t wait!
Love Love Love
*image courtesy of Beth