It’s what we all want and how we are meant to live.
Yet so often, material success and the things we think will create the freedom we crave, don’t.
So let’s focus our energy on what will.
Here you will learn strategies and tools to create real Freedom by identifying and transforming the fear based, limiting beliefs that are keeping you stuck.
Fear is the opposite of Freedom (and a tricky bastard).
After earning- what I now refer to as- my PhD in Fear, I turned my pain into purpose and taught thousands of clients and students to transform their own fear into Freedom.
Now it’s your turn.
So take a deep breath, say Hello, Freedom and buckle up!
Love Love Love
“Terri Cole is a powerful force of nature. She will teach you how to smash your blocks and unleash your inner fire. If you want to be fearless and free, listen to Terri. Listen very carefully.”
Bestselling Author, Activist, Cancer Thriver
“Some of us are natural IDENTIFIERS, like Terri Cole. Cole’s a psychotherapist-coach, and, as my mother would say, Terri can “shoot bullshit out of the air.” Lucid, like wow. She can look at a relationship dynamic, or a business structure, or a repeating pattern and bam, fwam, shazam, she can tell you what’s really going on in one sentence, in one minute. And she does it freely, anytime of the day, with anyone who’s ready for it.”
Author, Speaker, Publisher, Fire Starter, Creator of Desire Map
What do you want to create in your life right now?
Are you taking steps to create it? If not, why?
I will make an educated guess that fear is part of the problem. It is the main reason my clients get stuck in any area of their lives. It presents as many other logical emotions so it tricks us. There is also an illusion, when you start comparing yourself to others, that some people are born under a lucky star and it all comes easily to them. I can tell you the inside scoop that many of the smartest, most successful and happiest people I know were born no different than you. The ones in my crew consciously and actively transformed their relationship to fear by becoming experts on themselves and the way their downloaded blueprints around fear were informing their decisions. Learning to see all of the masks and disguises that fear wears, helps to create clarity. Fearlessness is not possible and not the point. Understanding how you relate to fear is the key to getting unblocked.
When contemplating building the life, business, body or relationship of your dreams everyone has the same excuses (different variations) as to why they can’t or shouldn’t. Timing will never be 100% right, it may never be practical to spend your money in that way and there will always be a chance that you will fail. Also there is always someone further along and therefore more experienced than you at what you want to do and so what? Those things will always be true but you decide how much power to give them.
So, now that we got that out of the way…
The next step to get you moving in the right direction is to check whether your desires, your actions and your words are aligned. You may say and believe you want something but your actions or language may be undermining your efforts. Giving mixed energetic vibrations to the Universe will yield mixed results. The more aware you are of what emotion is driving your action, the more intentional you can be.
In order to uncover and discover you must ask questions. As mentioned before, it’s not that our super successful empowerment leaders have less fear than anyone else, it’s simply that they are able to recognize their fear for what it is, and move forward.
If you feel ready to look at what’s blocking you and decode your fears, please give yourself the gift of uninterrupted time, in a peaceful place, to answer these questions.
1. In what areas of your life do you feel the most blocked?
2. When you are feeling blocked, where in your body does that constriction show up? In your stomach? Chest? Racing heart? Once you locate the area of constriction, take deep breaths straight into that spot spot until you feel expansion where the constriction had been.
3. Can you peel back the layers to your surface answers as to why you don’t move forward in whatever area of life you are stuck, and see the real reasons? (Even when there are logical reasons to consider when taking any action in life, when you get stuck, fear is usually at the bottom of the onion and the true culprit.)
4. Once you start to see the real reasons for inaction can you give yourself small steps to take daily that will get you moving towards your dreams?
5. Are you willing to normalize your relationship to fear? If so, this means managing your expectations differently. If feeling fear used to signal STOP, maybe now it can signal, slow down take a look to see what wisdom might be in that feeling for you and then deciding how to proceed.
Now that you have a clear vision of how your fear is blocking you, it’s time to remind yourself of one important thing. Fear is just a feeling and you get to choose how much power it has over you. I like to remind my clients that much of the time fear is a physical reaction to your thoughts. And you know what happens when you change your thoughts, right? Right.
I know you have big dreams and desires and you deserve to make them a reality. Take these questions seriously because decoding your fear could be the key to unlocking a life you love.
And as always, take care of you.
Love Love Love
*image courtesy of Niels Sienaert
So many of my most creative and inspired ideas come to me when I’m having fun. And one of my favorite ways to have fun is by spending time with friends. Whether I am exploring a personal issue, something family related or wanting to create my next business idea, getting together with my posse is a surefire way to get feedback and support.
Many people have become accustomed to doing it all on their own. They don’t want to ‘bother’ or ‘burden’ friends, family or even colleagues by asking for help, insight or guidance. Though this do-it-yourself habit can be uninspiring and create feelings of isolation. Not to mention going at it alone is a lot less fun, in my book.
Most people are excited to give you their opinions and advice if you just ask. Even though your mafia mind may be telling you otherwise. The truth is people enjoy helping people. I know for myself I get inspired and lit up, when I know I can bring value to another. I also feel honored when someone asks me to give them my insight on an issue that’s important to them. There is a sense of satisfaction and camaraderie that comes from knowing you have been a catalyst in some way for another’s success.Giving helpful advice is like giving a gift, and I would say most people enjoy giving as much or more than they do receiving.
To some degree we have become a society of separates. The idea that you ‘should’ (one of my least favorite words) be able to do it on your own is outdated and antiquated. We all need and deserve to be seen, heard and supported and with the internet it is easier than ever before. Find and gather your people and be brave enough to ask for the help. You’re next great inspiration, step or business idea may be just one, fun night out, away.
This week I challenge you to ask for help, inspiration or whatever else it is you need. Ask people you know you can trust and rely on, and make it fun. Ditch the idea that you need to go at anything alone by allowing yourself to ask for and receive the support you need. You can build your business, expand your life and increase your happiness, and you don’t need to do it alone.
Where could you use an extra set of hands or another person to bounce ideas off of? In the comments below I would love for you to share one thing you commit to asking for help with this week. I can’t wait to hear from you.
And as always, take care of you.
Love Love Love
P.S. Want to join the most inspired & supportive group online? Marie Forleo’s B-School helps you uplevel not only your business but your life while connecting with thousands of people just like you worldwide.
To learn more about B-School and check out the bonuses* you’ll get when you sign up today come on over to TerriCole.com I never promote anything I do not 1000% believe in. B-School has been my #1 for building my business and I know it can help you too.
*I am proud affiliate partner of Marie Forleo’s B-School.
*image courtesy of Ian Aberle
Shortly after I graduated with my Masters from NYU, I moved back to New Jersey to be with my new husband, and his boys. Even though the town I was moving to was only 10 miles outside Manhattan, I was afraid that I was going to feel disconnected and out of the loop with with my circle of friends. From the moment I moved to NYC my circle of supportive women were my ever present team for support and sanity!
I know I am not unique in my need for close female relationships. Women are natural bridgers and connectors. A landmark study conducted by Laura Klein and Shelley Taylor revealed that women react to stress differently than men. Stressed men tend to respond by removing themselves from the situation, fighting back or suppressing their emotions. This study revealed that when women are stressed they seek out the comfort of other women or ‘tend and befriend’ as they named it. This illuminated the importance of female bonding and connectedness. Another study emphasizing the importance of friendships was conducted by David Spiegel who studied the survival rate of women with breast cancer. He found that those women who had a strong, supportive circle of friends outlived by many years their counterparts who lived in social isolation.
A sense of belonging is a basic human need, just like food and water. Solitary confinement would not be considered a form of punishment if isolation wasn’t so powerful. If you are without community and feeling alone please know what you are experiencing is not uncommon, though it is important that you take steps to find your tribe.
Lack of community can create isolation, anxiety and depression. Research has shown that people who participate in a community of like minded others are happier and healthier than those that don’t. Communities can provide support, motivation, connection and a place to be witnessed.
The world wide web has made it easier than ever to connect with others, all over the world. Finding people with similar interests can be as simple as typing in a few words. Even if you feel like you’re in the middle of nowhere, online summits, support groups, message boards and of course FaceBook are literally a click away.
Keeping yourself connected to others is a powerful and important way to take care of you. And it’s simple. So make connection a priority and as always, take care of you.
Love Love Love
P.S. If you are an entrepreneur, therapist, wellness professional or are thinking about starting your own company then I want to invite you to join one of the best communities for business online.
Marie Forleo has transformed the lives of hundreds of thousands of people all over the world. Through B-School (B as in business) is an 8 week online video-based training program that shows you how to build a unique and profitable brand. CLICK HERE to check out her FREE video training series and your chance to win a scholarship to this incredible program.
*image courtesy of Amanda Venner